A telegram received at our offices this morning from our roving field sports correspondent, Mister Ioannou:
As summer ends, the Hamilton Russell competition makes a welcome return. The first match was against the Chelsea Arts. Our worthy opponents braved the rain to head down the Kings Road to Whitehall Place. As we arrived there was a crowd outside, and although chess is popular, we were surprised that this of all games would attract such attention. At this point Lady Gaga [the Editorial Committee is unsure who this person is…a chess player of some description? We leave the readers to determine this] left the Corinthian Hotel to attend the Graham Norton show [similarly, we leave this enigma to our readers] and as she was whisked away, the crowds dispersed and we were left to our thoughts!! Still, for a brief moment we could dream.
Captain Saldanha is already finding out what he has let himself in for, and he simply can’t compete with the lure of Europa League football [some form of Association Football, perhaps? This is really getting too much] and Lady Gaga! He therefore had to recruit former student Mister Kaya to join the ranks and play on board 5. Alas, as he has not yet signed on the dotted line his game could only count as a friendly. This was made very clear to Captain Saldanha as he was handed a copy of the Rule book and warned against bringing the competition into dispute! Mister Kaya made a good impression on debut though, beating the tricky Mr Coles and is excited about the possibility of playing more once he is a fully fledged Libber. Young Mister Kaya did not keep a record of his game, but it has been pieced together and recreated below. He was a speed merchant and only used 12 mins. He plays quickly and didn’t write his moves now – sounds familiar!! There are shades of Mister Ioannou in his speedy, aggressive play and perhaps they can learn the names of all the pieces and how to score together!!
Mister Ioannou was feeling confident, however, and took on the formidable FM, Richard Black on board 1. It was a very even game and both players struggled to stamp their authority early on. On move 23, however, Mister Ioannou exchanged Queens which had unintended consequences and he finally succumbed to death by a thousand cuts. He later claimed that he was distracted by the adverts for Oktoberfest on the tv screen next to him. Who can fully concentrate whilst thinking of leather clad Libbers in their Lederhosen?!?! [The Editorial Committee has never been in the position of thinking of leather-clad Libbers, so couldn’t say].
Mister Barton was workmanlike and scored the Libbers first win of the evening.
And former captain Mister Giffin KC MA (Oxon), making his most welcome return, was able to overpower the always tricky Mr Radcliffe and honours were even.
As a result of the 2 last minute games, it was a rush to get up to supper, which is the only reason to attend! There was an exotic flavour to the menu with spicy Asian Bao Buns, followed by Skate.
After a thoroughly enjoyable meal the Libbers retired to the bar to have a post mortem and discuss the issues of the day. They knew it was time to leave when the staff took away their glasses, even as they were trying to finish their drinks! Perhaps next time they won’t leave it so late!
Here is the full score card:
Nicholas Ioannou 0 – 1 Richard Black
John Barton 1 – 0 Matt Flowers
Richard Saldanha (c) 0 – 1 Luke Williams
Nigel Giffin 1 – 0 Mike Radcliffe (c)
Friendly: Ömer Kaya 1 – 0 Joe Coles