Oriental/East India blow the Libs away

A sombre day in the annuls of Liberal chess.

Long have the NLC have been widely recognised as the undisputed Kings – nay, Emperors – of Clubland neckwear battles. With a deep individual commitment to correct Clubland chess attire they knew no equals. They effortlessly swept all before them.

Until Tuesday 15 March 2022. Remember the date. The NLC were beaten at their own game. A new standard has been set.

Gladstone is not happy.

The sartorial battlefield

Board 1

Doctor Kirby can be relied upon. Never seen in anything other than the hallowed gold, green and navy, he is always good for the neckwear point. But here we saw Yaroslav Voropayev match him stripe for stripe with his East India Club tied in a half-windsor.

No amount of inspired Captaincy could withstand the onslaught.

Honours split on Board one. 0.5 – 0.5.

Board 2

Mister Giffin QC MA (Oxon) tried guerrilla tactics, sporting a beautiful Italian silk tie purchased on his honeymoon. A clever move from a clever man, but it wasn’t Club colours and so the point again had to be split with Edward Ko.

Mister Giffin QC MA (Oxon) prays for survival

One – one at this point.

Board 3

And so the horror begins.

Mister Iounnou went for his burgundy crested Club tie. Under normal combat conditions it would have seen the Lib through. But faced with his battle-hardened opponent, Peter Haddock, in a waistcoat and pocket-square, the home team snatched the sartorial points from the unsuspecting Lib.

A nonchalant deployment of a weapons-grade pocket square. The veteran warrior knew how to master the young ‘un.

Oriental/East India went two-one up.

Board 4

The tide was against the Libs. Could we stem the losses on Board 4? Young Master Jacobs deployed himself in the correct gold, green and navy formation, risking a rakish full windsor knot in the hope of a swift victory. But he was ground down in trench war against Marley Robinson’s purple Club number. A neckwear draw was all that could be salvaged.

Club tie v Club tie. A war of attrition on Board 4.

That’s 2.5 – 1.5 to the home team. Things looking grim for the NLC.

Board 5

Now came the artillery barrage. The Oriental captain went all out in a devastating demonstration of destructive neckwear firepower. Habib Amir’s bow tie, waistcoat, matching pocket square and – god help the Libs – tweed suit, it was efficient, quick and ruthless. Not even Miss Widger’s extensive reserves could turn the tide of battle. Brutal but effective.

Just look. Like bringing a gun to knife fight.

An empahtic neckwear victory on Board 5 saw the Oriental go 3.5 – 1.5 up. All hope was lost.

Board 6

Mister Widdicombe came armed, knowing he would be in for a fight. But it was no good wearing a pair of striped red braces if you’re lost before you have a chance to deploy the asset. Michael Charlton’s dark green Club tie paired with a pristine white pocket square meant Mister Widdicombe’s goose was cooked. He was powerless.

Club stripes and pristine white pocket square. Resistance was futile from the start.

That’s 4.5 – 1.5. It was Dunkirk time.

Board 7

Doctor Saldanha put up what little fight he could. But without even a club tie to wield there was really no contest on Board 7. And in a devastating act of cross-Club aggression, Sandip Basu’s pocket square looked suspiciously like an MCC bacon and egg number. Was this contrary to the laws of war?

What could Doctor Saldanha do in the face of such sartorial power?

That completed the 5.5 – 1.5 rout. The bell had tolled for the NLC.

Amongst the carnage, some chess was apparently played. For those interested in such meaningless ephemera, here are the games.

Dinner

The Oriental/East India had just won the war. They now made sure they won the peace.

They wheeled out their weapon of mass destruction – their world famous curry. Hardly fair. But then again, defeat has never tasted so good.

Only one self-respecting option…

The final word simply must to go to Messers Basu and Amir.

A brutal display of raw neckwear power.

Absolutely magnificent, gents.

2 comments

  1. I stopped writing at move 29 as I had fewer than five minutes left. The next move was when the wheels fell off.

    30 c7?? (Ree1 holds out as f1 is then triple defended) hxg3
    31 hxg3 Rxg3+
    32 fxg3 Rxf1 mate

    It was a very good evening.

  2. An absolutely superb evening despite the chess – thank you Oriental Club!

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